What do you think of when you see this image from under the depths….
Most of the time I look at an image like this and I am transported almost instantly to my underwater oasis. To a dream world where I can hover under the water and look up at the sun’s amazing rays of golden sunshine.
Cool and calm under the depth of the water. Resting in her silence, her power, her wonder.
I don’t use dive tanks, at least not at this stage. So when I am under I am holding my breath. But in the pool or the ocean, it doesn’t scare me. I free dive 20’+ down and push my lungs to their max.
I have never worried I wouldn’t make it back to the surface.
While I am no great athlete, I trust the water. I trust the strength it gives me. I give myself to her and she takes care of me.
But every once in a while…
Days like today. I see this image and it makes it hard to breathe.
My family has taken all of my strength this week. Nothing we can’t manage. Nothing to be worried about. Just all Mama hands on deck.
A week where I had so many plans for my own business. Jacob’s first week of preschool. The first week I was going to have three days with SIX hours of silence in this house. Can you even imagine?
Yet a week that has turned into sick kids home from school, multiple doctor’s visits… you know the drill.
I may not have completed those five blogposts I had planned, or created that new commercial contract, or designed that new sample album… but my boys have had the Mama they needed. And isn’t that why many of us work from home? Isn’t that why those of who can have the jobs with the flexible hours ~ so we can make chicken noodle soup, play Uno and PJMask Matching Game and be the one who take them to the doctor when they need it most?
Those blogpost drafts will still be there next week. So will that sample album.
And you know what, I’m starting to see those rays of sunshine again…